Monk plays Qianlong
Emperor Qianlong traveled to the south of the Yangtze River, but in fact, he did not really travel to the mountains and rivers. He was only afraid that the people of Jiangnan would rebel, so he deliberately came to Jiangnan to listen to the news and check the truth in the name of traveling in the mountains and rivers.
At that time, there was a monk in Jingci Temple in Nanping Mountain, Hangzhou, called slander. This monk does not pay attention to chanting and meditating, but likes to discuss the major events of the world. If you want to speak, you will speak, and if you want to scold, you will scold, without any scruples. Just because he speaks reasonably and scolds funny, the common people like to get close to him.
When Emperor Qianlong arrived in Hangzhou, he heard that there was such a monk, and he frowned, thinking: This old monk takes such a strange name, he must be a Ming Dynasty relict who hides in the mountains and forests, and does not keep his duty. I'm going to hear what he's ruined. So, he changed into a blue shirt, took a gold-painted folding fan, dressed up as a showman, and went to Jingci Temple with a sway, naming the monk who would slander him.
The slanderous monk came out of the temple, and when Emperor Qianlong saw him, he asked:
"Is the old master slandering the monk?"
The slandering monk replied, "Yes, I am slandering the monk, and it is me who slanders the monk." ”
Emperor Qianlong asked again: "Did the old master become a monk since he was a child, or did he become a monk halfway?" ”
Slandering the monk said, "I'm a halfway monk." Xiucai, what are you asking me to do with this? ”
Emperor Qianlong had nothing to say, his eyes swept away, and when he saw the monk's torn robe, he said: "I heard that the old master is a virtuous monk, why is he wearing this ragged shirt like a loofah?" ”
The slanderous monk smiled: "When I was young, I also wore splendid clothes!" Later, the splendid garment was torn apart by wild dogs, so I became a monk and wore this torn hemp robe! But although my clothes are tattered, my mental skills are correct. is no better than those lords in official uniforms, who look magnificent, and secretly steal men and prostitutes. ”
Emperor Qianlong was beaten on the head, and he couldn't get out of the attack, and he thought with hatred in his heart: This slander of the monk really deserves its reputation! He had to find a way to deal with his sin harshly. He had evil calculations in his belly, and a smirk was piled up on his face, telling the slanderous monk to lead him into the temple to play tricks.
They entered the mountain gate of Jingci Temple and saw the people next to them splitting bamboo to make incense baskets. Emperor Qianlong rolled his eyes, picked up a piece of split bamboo, turned the green side towards the slanderous monk, and asked, "Master, what is your name for this?" ”
The slanderous monk said, "This is called bamboo skin." ”
Emperor Qianlong turned the bamboo piece around, turned the white side towards the monk, and asked, "Master, what is this called?" ”
Slandering the monk said: "This one, we call it bamboo meat." ”
Emperor Qianlong frowned and said with a wry smile: "What a fresh name!" ”
The slanderous monk snorted and said, "Old guest, now that the world has changed, the name has to change with it!" ”
Emperor Qianlong was deflated, so he had to keep quiet. It turned out that he was in Daxing Literary Prison at that time, specifically looking for a fork to kill people. If the monk is slandered according to the old name, and the green side of the bamboo is called the green side, and the white side is called the yellow side, the Qianlong Emperor will grab the pigtail and accuse him of "destroying the Qing" and "destroying the emperor", and kill his head. Emperor Qianlong asked the monk with a piece of bamboo, just to find him a fork.
Emperor Qianlong entered the Daxiong Hall to worship Rulai, and then went to the Luohan Hall to see the Buddha statue. Finally, they came to the Soup Kitchen.
The Xiang Ji Kitchen is the room in the temple. Emperor Qianlong looked around and saw a load of bean sprouts resting under the stove. At this time, a puppy came over, pulled up his hind legs and sprinkled a soak of urine on the bean sprouts. Emperor Qianlong saw it in his eyes and asked, "Master, is this bean sprout a clean thing?" The slanderous monk said: "Bean sprouts are born in water, grow in water, and of course they are the cleanest things!" ”
Emperor Qianlong snorted and said, "There is dog urine poured on it, how can it be said that it is clean?" ”
The slandering monk laughed: "As the saying goes, out of sight is pure, and hearing is true." If you see it, don't you see it, and you will be clean? Why take this little thing so seriously! For example, there is a person who is cursed by the people of the world day and night, but he pretends not to hear, and brags to himself with a cheeky face, saying that he is a saint! ”
When Emperor Qianlong heard this, he was furious, but he was afraid of revealing his identity, so it was not easy to attack. I wanted to find another fork, but I couldn't think of a topic for a while. I was embarrassed, and suddenly I heard a vendor outside the back door of the kitchen shouting: "Do you want tea eggs?" …… Tea Egg Luo! He had an idea, said that he was hungry, so he took the opportunity to buy tea eggs and slipped away through the back door.